Education, awareness and response: essential tools to end domestic violence
Lisa Kristoff
Another National Teen Dating Violence and Awareness Week came to a
close on Friday, February 8. Across the country schools, youth centers,
domestic violence prevention centers, coalitions and councils sent a
message: teen dating violence, all forms domestic violence, will not be
tolerated.
To continue educating the public, beginning with students, Boothbay
Region High School was the venue for "Jake and Caroline" for two
performances on Wednesday, February 6 for freshmen, sophomores and
juniors.
The senior class attended the performance last spring in the BRHS
auditorium.
This year the Region II Maine Children's Cabinet sponsored the event
scheduled through Family Crisis Services.
"Jake and Caroline" is a production of The Young Adult Abuse Prevention
Program (YAAPP). It is
an interactive theatrical piece for schools and community groups. The
primary focus of the pieces are dating violence and bullying.
This cautionary tale depicts the relationship between a controlling
verbally, and eventually, physically abusive Jake and Caroline, the young
girl he claims to love.
Jake demonstrates his love for Caroline by keeping a watchful eye on
where she goes and with whom she goes with until he succeeds in isolating
her from friends and getting her fired from jobs.
Effective use of props that include a black umbrella under which
Caroline stands that bear Jake's "terms of endearment:" "whore," "bitch,"
"stupid," and "crazy" among others.
Jake finally "has" to keep her on a short leash that is attached to his
pants pocket - by the end of the show the young woman is in a cage, with a
chain around her neck.
Around Caroline's family Jake is cordial and respectful - just the kind
of guy a parent would want their daughter to date.
When Caroline musters the strength and courage to tell Jake she wants
to break up with him, he threatens to kill himself.
Following the 30-minute presentation, the actors lead a discussion with
the students about warning signs of abuse in a relationship, the dynamics
of abuse and intervention.
How closely does "Jake and Caroline" mirror reality?
Let's take a look at the statistics.
Females ages 16 to 24 are more vulnerable to violence from an intimate
partner than any other age group.
About one in five female high school students report being physically
or sexually abused by a dating partner.
Ninety-four percent of victims between the ages of 16 and 19 report a
current boyfriend or girlfriend as their abuser
Fifty-eight percent of rape victims report being raped between the ages
of 12 and 24.
One in five teens who have been in a serious relationship report being
hit, slapped or pushed by a partner.
One in three girls who have been in a serious relationship say they've
been concerned about being physically hurt by their partner.
One in four teens who have been in a serious relationship say their
boyfriend or girlfriend has tried to prevent them from spending time with
friends or family; the same number have been pressured to only spend time
with their partner.
One in three girls between the ages of 16 and 18 say sex is expected
for people their age if they're in a relationship; half of teen girls who
have experienced sexual pressure report they are afraid the relationship
would break up if they did not give in.
Nearly one in four girls who have been in a relationship (23 percent)
reported going further sexually than they wanted as a result of
pressure.
Nearly 25 percent of 14 to 17 year-olds know at least one student who
was the victim of dating violence; 11 percent know multiple victims and 33
percent of teens have witnessed such an occurrence.
Nearly 80 percent of all girls in an abusive relationship continue to
date the abuser.
Eighty-one percent of surveyed parents either believed teenage dating
violence was not an issue or did not know if it was an issue.
Teen dating violence and abuse happens in every high school, in every
town to lesser or greater degrees - this includes the Boothbay region.
Police Chief Bob Hasch said the Boothbay Harbor police force deals with
more reported incidents of domestic violence of all kinds - and attributes
it to increased awareness.
"I get calls all of the time and I can't say it enough, the sooner this
type of behavior is corrected, the better." said Chief Hasch. "Regardess
of age, domestic violence is a crime."
What can teens and their parents do? Watch for the warning signs;
extreme acts of jealousy, a partner that demands to know where the young
person is all the time - perhaps even gives a cell phone as a gift,
blowing disagreements out of proportion, insulting the partner in public,
threats to leave them, is verbally and/or physically abusive.
Does the other partner always make excuses for the boyfriend or
girlfriend? Do they constantly worry about what will make their partner
angry? Are they becoming isolated from friends and family? Is he or she
giving up extra-curricular activities or time out with people other than
the partner?
We must remember not to be silent; if you suspect someone is a victim
encourage them to get help.
Keep in contact with her or him and let them know they are not alone;
help them make a safety plan; tell them it is not their fault; that they
deserve respect.
Call a domestic abuse hotline for help and support - New Hope for
Women: 1-800-522-3304, or the National Teen Dating Abuse hotline:
1-866-331-9474 or the National Domestic Violence hotline:
1-800-799-7233.
For more information on what you can do or to learn more, visit these
Web sites:
www.yaapp.org
www.newhopeforwomen.org
loveisrespect.org
safetyyouth.org
Statistics in this article were taken from the Parents Connect, New
Hope For Women and the Liz Claiborne, Inc. Web sites.
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