Would you like to be a "Big?"
Lisa Kristoff
That is the question being asked by Big Brothers Big Sisters of
Midcoast Maine. The organization, originally based in Boothbay Harbor in
the late 1970s, now in Damariscotta, is recruiting.
Bigs, that is.
That's right. If you are 18 or older, can form friendships, enjoy
children, and have two hours per week (or more if you wish) free, you
could be a "Big."
The time element is extremely important. "Some children may be dealing
with abandonment issues or have become used to adults not following
through when it comes to them," said Lee Emmons, an Americorps volunteer
who is the community-based case manager for 10 more months.
"To have a Big Brother or Big Sister that isn't consistent with the
time he or she shares with their match would not be helping the child's or
teen's situation."
Not that a Big should in any way feel as though they are a surrogate
parent - nothing could be further from the truth.
"A Big is a role model, but, mostly a Big is a friend," Emmons
said.
The desire for a friend is the number one reason children and teens
want a Big; friendship, someone to talk to, go places with and share
hobbies.
Emmons created a list of 30 safe activities for matches. Some ideas
will come naturally for matches since they have become matches based on
similar likes and dislikes.
Here are a few of the ideas on the organization's blog, bbbsmcm.org:
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hiking, bird-watching, seeing a movie, going to the YMCA, volunteering at
an animal shelter,
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playing basketball, seeing a play or concert, learning a hobby together,
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sledding, fishing, sailing, visit museums, play a video game, and, let's
not forget just plain talking.
There are two types of Bigs: school-based and community-based.
The former spends time with the child at school and the latter spends
six to eight hours a month with a child within the community.
Emmons is not only an employee - he became a Big soon after he arrived
at the organization's offices.
For Emmons, the most rewarding part of being a Big is sharing an
experience with a young person.
"So far we have gone fishing, hiking, played chess at the book store in
Damariscotta - where he mercilessly beat me twice, and we talk," said
Emmons. "There is a saying in Americorps, `Kids are 27 percent of the
population and 100 percent of the future.'
"You may approach the experience as just impacting one kid's life; but
in the broader picture you are really doing it for the country because,
theoretically, he or she is one more functioning member of society,"
Emmons said.
There is currently a waiting list of kids aged six to 18. The match,
through the agency ends at graduation although many matches choose to
continue their friendship beyond graduation. Emmons added that in Lincoln
County, the average life span of a match is five years.
Emmons stressed that this organization does not exist just for
low-income or underprivileged kids. There are many reasons why a parent
contacts them.
"Sometimes it is because they are a single parent or the child has many
siblings and needs some attention," said Emmons.
"Parents recognize that children benefit from an adult friend, it isn't
a reflection on the parent," continued Emmons. "The parent recognizes that
the family's circumstances, being whatever they are, that the program is
something that could be a true benefit for their child."
Does the idea of sharing some good times with a child or teen in the
area sound like something you are interested in doing?
To get started, first contact the organization for an application,
interview and an inventory of your interests This list of likes and
dislikes, hobbies, etc. is used by the organization to match their "bigs"
and "littles."
You will need two to three references, pass both a motor vehicle and
criminal background check, and be able to commit to one year.
Big Brothers Big Sisters, or in the case of a community match, Emmons
checks in with the Big, the child and the parent(s) of the child to see
how things are going. What matches do is completely up to them.
Big Brothers Big Sisters does not permit Bigs to take matches out of
the state of Maine or hold sleepovers for six months.
"Once the six months pass and the parents and child is comfortable with
the Big, then it is possible," Emmons said.
Community-based Bigs must be 18 or over; these matches are made
anytime. School-based Bigs are matched during the school year.
"It is always harder to find volunteers than it is to find kids,
because there will always be a need," said Emmons. "When we have children
in need in different counties, but no volunteers there that child is left
hanging.
"If we have a volunteer but no kids waiting, we call the schools in the
county the volunteer is in and ask if there is a student who shares the
same hobbies or pastimes as the volunteer," Emmons said.
Adults of all ages become Bigs and for many reasons; they are a retiree
and have the time, some just want to pay it forward, a professional might
want to because they did not have children, but want to experience life
through the eyes, ears and mind of a child.
Big Brothers Big Sisters of Midcoast Maine serves the counties of
Lincoln, Waldo and Knox.
For more information call Emmons at 563-5599 or visit the Web site:
bbbsmcm.org
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