David and Julie Merrill had their first picnic cruise on their still unnamed (it's not "Sea Slug," they continue to insist) Southport 40 Saturday. While all the other boats in Linekin Bay battled fierce northwest winds gusting to 30 knots, the Merrill boat rode as smoothly as if it were in dry dock. Talk about seaworthy! They could balance champagne glasses on the gunnels.

Despite a strict "no pets" policy at the Bayville Inn, the Fowlie family tried to sneak a pet into Apartment 2. You would think Justin, an instructor at the Maine Criminal Justice Academy, would know better than to break rules. Landlord Phil Roberts knew something was batty when he heard the shrieks of fun as the Fowlies chased their pet, "Chiroptera," around the apartment and out into the hall. By that time, young Andrew and his grandparents Al and Becky Roberts had all joined the pursuit.

Flinty-hearted landlord Phil refused to listen to Meredith's teary pleas to keep Chiroptera. "Rules are rules," said Phil. "Not only is it against Inn policy to keep a pet, but Bayville strictly prohibits unleashed animals." He handed Meredith's pet to Irv Purington, who disappeared with the winged mammal and a sinister grin. Chiroptera hasn't been seen since.

Speaking of not being seen, the Fedex and UPS guys have already scheduled grief counseling to help them manage post-marital depression in the wake of this weekend's Warburton/Jordan festivities at 10 Roberts Circle. But this week, they're roaring into Bayville two or three times a day with last-minute supplies for the big blow-out on the hill. Eleanor Jordan is in town, anxiously looking forward not only to a new daughter-in-law but to a new great-grandson, whose arrival is expected almost simultaneously.

I don't know why I keep repeating it, because no one seems to listen, but my e-mail address is

peter jordan@mindspring.com

.