Here on Little River, we get our share of boating hot rods just aching for tickets. The wake they throw has resulted in some raucous squeaks between runway and dock, and this self-appointed posse of one is primed to photograph and expose the perpetrators.

Smuggler's Cove Inn was jumping this weekend, with two cars bearing "Just Married" signs in the parking lot, and much activity around the pool. This always means that OP Rd. has more joggers, walkers and people trying to find reception for their cell phones Watch for them; some don't seem to realize that geriatrics can't see either!

Three East Boothbay artists will demonstrate their skills this coming weekend at Salt Water Artisans in Boothbay, working from 10 a.m. until evening both days. Two performers are Cilla and Dick Alden, who live on Shore Rd. Dick is a sculptor and creator of stone flowers, fountains and garden pools. Cilla weaves intricate wall hangings of great beauty.

Also exhibiting is Barbie Eldred, known for her paintings and floor rugs, but here showing how she makes knee pots -- bending the clay over her knee to produce extraordinary shapes in vases and water vessels. I've never noticed her knees before, but I will now! Cilla, Dick and Barbie are part owners of Salt River Artisans, which houses furniture, sculpture, glass and metal objects from more than a dozen highly skilled artists. Guy Marsten of Woolwich, who was minding the store recently, showed me his magic mirror, which flashes you a secret message when your eyes look up. Guy is an electronic engineer, patent model builder and computer guru among his many talents, but he also has a great sense of humor. You can't miss Salt River; it's right across Rt. 27 from Miss Piggy, who this week is sporting a very tiny bikini!

Salt River Artisans will also be open tomorrow for First Friday Art Tours, when many artists' studios and galleries in the area hold special hours or receptions. It's a chance to see what they've got to offer in both art and hospitality. Go see Andersen Studio (3-6 p.m.), where you can pick up a bluebird or seal; Corrine and Fred McIntire at Ocean Point Studios (Corinne's oils and watercolors and Fred's ceramics from 4-7 p.m.); Paradise Studio: Mary Ellen and Ron Serena -- for her paintings and his woodwork (from 10 a.m.- 7 p.m.), and the Plummers, Joan and Carlton on King Phillips Trail. Their gallery is set in a beautiful garden on the shores of the Damariscotta and will be open from 3-5 p.m. If you choose carefully, you can plan your whole cocktail hour around this tour.

Gene Bacon needs a duplicate bridge partner who might drive her to the Wednesday night games. Gene is a nice, polite and refined lady who promises not to harass a gentleman partner, should he volunteer, but any sex will do. She just wants to play bridge. Call her at 633-6878.

Phil and Darla Parker, who used to run Wee Scottie Antiques in the village, are still here, living on Pocahontas Trail. The Parkers no longer have a shop, but instead display their wares (including lots of vintage Scotties) at antique shows, which seems to suit them very well. They still spend winters in Arkansas. Darla will be serving her prized barbeque Sunday at the Boatbuilders Festival.

Bob and Judy Dent of Samoset Trail are moving to Maine when Judy retires next year from teaching in Monroe, N.Y. The Dents plan to build a house in Topsham's Highland Green, but will continue to summer on the shores of Little River's Glen Cove. The Little River Association held a barbeque last weekend, although that has little to do with my bits of news; we are not members, and the LRA is across the river from us.

The former Carriage House sign is no more. It's been replaced by "Sparre's Steakhouse." What this means I have no idea, but I'll work on it. Breaking news requires research.

Murray Hill Rd. is coming together at last. The Whorff site on Ocean Point Rd. now holds piles of top soil and gravel, a sure sign that beautification has not been forgotten. Rick Gilde says that once that's done, he will be able to clean his house and massage table. The relentless dirt discouraged residents from doing most of their usual chores, like dusting, gardening, even mowing the lawn. Rick vowed he would not clean until it was all over, but maybe that was just as excuse, because he hates dusting anyway.

The Marion to Bermuda Race which was held in June has a most peculiar award, but I gather it's only one among many. The last boat in each class to officially finish is awarded the Cook's Trophy. If this is indeed an honor, then we can be very proud of Dr. Jim Richter. The Cook's Trophy for Class D went to Bonspiel, Jim's Nordic 44.

It must have come as a terrible shock to the Ocean Pointers who responded to pounding on the door at 2 a.m. last week when they found a cold and wet elderly gentleman standing there. Apparently, the Lincolnville sailor's boat had sunk at Damariscove, and he set off for the mainland in his dinghy. He fetched up near the Wilson Chapel and went ashore on the rocks, leaving the dingy adrift. A light in the house directed him to shelter. Robbie Ham of the Boothbay Rescue Squad took him to the hospital for examination after a call to 911. That's a helluva row from Damariscove, and this guy was 77 years old. Damariscove is about seven miles away.

The Boothbay Boatbuilders Festival has recruited many local faces, including mine -- so I hope to see you Sunday in the vast crowd.